Thursday, August 04, 2005

This blog ring

It's interesting how one can begin to feel out of the loop if one doesn't keep up on the other blogs in the ring. I've been really busy doing all sorts of things...especially getting that last quilt finished for the show and other stuff.

Started taking a look at a few of the blogs and hit Gabrielle's and was blown away by her thoughts about being in the moment, so to speak, of doing what you are doing spin on it, I guess.

I have really been feeling like I was a little strange. At one point I posted about being so absorbed in my art that I found it difficult to do other things (except for my grandson, that is) and that started a discussion about doing the things we "need" to do...I know, I do take care of the absolute needs but I am really finding that there are a lot of things that really don't fall in to that category that I used to think did.

But, after thinking more, and reading Gabrielle's pithy words, I have come to understand that I am really different from a lot of people and that is because I can become so absolutely focused in my art that everything else disappears. I really don't know quite how to explain it and I guess I am really trying to figure it out but putting words to it.

I know I cannot stop the creative process that takes place in my brain. It is always going, always storing ideas and inspiration, noting colors, textures, odd sightings, interesting formations, whatever is around me. I am an observer and was really in a good job as a probation officer because I did a lot of observing peope (in addition to being paid to ask the most private questions of people). Of course, I did get very tired of being around the people I was around and not having anyone come to see my because they wanted to see ME! I also realize that I was very focused when I was in that job also. In fact, focused may not be the right word...maybe obsessive would be better (in fact a psych exam did state as much).

I am most happy when I am in the middle of creating. However, I am very happy when I am able to instill the sense on creativty in others. It is so rewarding to see people begin to grasp what I am saying about their creative abilities and to finally accept it for themselves.

I have given up (pretty much) being competitive with other artists as I have come to truly understand that there is room for lots of great work. I may really admire someone else's work and that does not mean that mine isn't good, just that theirs is different. (don't know if I am making sense because it is late)

My very best friend, Carol Suto, had her I Remember Mama quilt accepted in this year's show and mine was not accepted. I was very excited for her and really ok about mine not getting it. Then she got the call that she had won 2nd place for hers and I can honestly say that I was as excited for her as if I had won. And the greatest part is that we had already planned to go to Houston so she will be there to receive the award herself. She is just starting in the world of art quilts and has so much to say and does such a dynamite job at doing it...she just retired last month so finally is able to give her art her full attention. I can hardly wait to see what comes out of her! Her work and mine are so totally different...she has stories and things to say and I am very abstract in my work.

Anyway, back to trying to figure out my mind...not that I really could but it is interesting to think about...sometimes the images and thoughts that pop in are very distracting, expecially when I am in the middle of a sentence about something else, talking to someone...I get this kind of glazed look, stop talking and, whomever I am talking to has to bring me back and refocus, it is not a seizure but that sure would be easier to explain! It's like my brain hops and skips around various ideas but once I latch on to something, I am really focused. I do my best problem solving at night when I am quasi-asleep...solve all the technical problems, figure out how to accomplish what I want to accomplish and put it all together. So, in the morning, all I have to do is to follow the plan of action I worked on during the night.

Oh well, guess I better get to sleep so I can work on the quilting of this big quilt I am doing...

See ya...

1 comment:

Gerrie said...

You understand yourself so well!! During my week of a quilt a day, I sort of understood what your creative time is like. I want so much to let myself have that freedom. I need to get rid of some of my obligations, I guess. Yeah for Carol. Tell her I am really happy for her!!